Yeesh..It's the middle of winter in Michigan and we can barely get out of bed when it's below 17-degrees outside....I say let yourself off the hook until at least May 1st, then try on all your summer clothes and work on the muffin tops!! Nothing like a little procrastination to start 2011 off!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
SKIP THE RESOLUTIONS!: Living with Love
SKIP THE RESOLUTIONS!: Living with Love: "With every sentence I type, I pass my words through a 'filter' of how I think you'll react. So, creating something that translates int..."
Living with Love
With every sentence I type, I pass my words through a "filter" of how I think you'll react. So, creating something that translates into an emotion so well that it can reach the "quick" of another person is meaningful. The foundation of writing is honesty. Therein lies the paradox of writing - remaining true to your feelings within the boundaries of the reader's tastes. In life, we adapt our behavior to the people and situations we encounter which is writing often tells us so much more about who we are. Living with love, unconditional love, is an unlimited way of being. Each of us is without any limit to our thoughts and feelings.
The most powerful energy we possess is unconditional love. It starts with loving yourself. If you can't love yourself, then how do you truly know what love is? There is only your journey toward loving yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you, alone, can travel in order to share it with everything and everyone around you.
We read in the news of terrible events that occur every day. We pray for peace amongst our nations and within our own country. So, let us all be reminded that true peace is found when we are at peace within...create your own peace, become peace.
Living with love is both an action and a feeling. Every person is capable of great love (the opposite being fear) which generates painful emotions. There are so many different ways to define love and different ways to love someone (yes, even yourself!).
Say It Out Loud! It may be difficult for some, but to say the words "I love you" carry the desire to show someone that you really do love them. It may be hard to understand this, but saying "I love you" is sometimes said as a question begging a reply of the same. Saying "I love you" is never a question, but always the expression of a truly felt emotion.
Love Unconditionally, always. Stipulations attached to love is simply not love.
Understanding Love can be lost. To understand that you can lose the one you love, means a greater appreciation of what you have. Don't make an idol out of the person you love as this places them under undue pressure and can result in losing them. Never stop loving...even if you've been hurt, don't stop giving love. Remember, there is no failure in love and the ability to show love means you have already succeeded in love.
There is vulnerability in love and I think we have all at one point or another in our lives wavered on the question of whether true love really exists. Sometimes, we confuse the sum of physical attraction and a strong fondness for another's personality and a desire to be in the security of a relationship as love. I have learned that true love requires one ingredient more powerful than any of the sum of attractions which is vulnerability. The "defenses" we hold up against the outside world that seem to "protect us", like holding in emotions or projecting a self confidence greater than what really is felt is actually limiting you in relationships. Herein lies the trust factor, because once you truly trust another person enough to love you unconditionally, you can start to let down those defenses that keep you from truly experiencing love.
Keeping your marriage intact is vitally living with love. That one connection with another human grows and is nourished by love and keeps growing to different dimensions, deeper and more intimate which makes us call another our "soul mate". There are endless lyrics to songs and poems with the coined phrase "falling in love". I wonder if it's really falling that's taking place or whether it's just the release of inhibitions over time as love deepens that we find ourselves (sometimes without realizing it) that we're in a place of...living with love.
Are you ready to start living with love? The power of love is held within each and every one of us at every moment and there to give..and receive.
The most powerful energy we possess is unconditional love. It starts with loving yourself. If you can't love yourself, then how do you truly know what love is? There is only your journey toward loving yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually that you, alone, can travel in order to share it with everything and everyone around you.
We read in the news of terrible events that occur every day. We pray for peace amongst our nations and within our own country. So, let us all be reminded that true peace is found when we are at peace within...create your own peace, become peace.
Living with love is both an action and a feeling. Every person is capable of great love (the opposite being fear) which generates painful emotions. There are so many different ways to define love and different ways to love someone (yes, even yourself!).
Say It Out Loud! It may be difficult for some, but to say the words "I love you" carry the desire to show someone that you really do love them. It may be hard to understand this, but saying "I love you" is sometimes said as a question begging a reply of the same. Saying "I love you" is never a question, but always the expression of a truly felt emotion.
Love Unconditionally, always. Stipulations attached to love is simply not love.
Understanding Love can be lost. To understand that you can lose the one you love, means a greater appreciation of what you have. Don't make an idol out of the person you love as this places them under undue pressure and can result in losing them. Never stop loving...even if you've been hurt, don't stop giving love. Remember, there is no failure in love and the ability to show love means you have already succeeded in love.
There is vulnerability in love and I think we have all at one point or another in our lives wavered on the question of whether true love really exists. Sometimes, we confuse the sum of physical attraction and a strong fondness for another's personality and a desire to be in the security of a relationship as love. I have learned that true love requires one ingredient more powerful than any of the sum of attractions which is vulnerability. The "defenses" we hold up against the outside world that seem to "protect us", like holding in emotions or projecting a self confidence greater than what really is felt is actually limiting you in relationships. Herein lies the trust factor, because once you truly trust another person enough to love you unconditionally, you can start to let down those defenses that keep you from truly experiencing love.
Keeping your marriage intact is vitally living with love. That one connection with another human grows and is nourished by love and keeps growing to different dimensions, deeper and more intimate which makes us call another our "soul mate". There are endless lyrics to songs and poems with the coined phrase "falling in love". I wonder if it's really falling that's taking place or whether it's just the release of inhibitions over time as love deepens that we find ourselves (sometimes without realizing it) that we're in a place of...living with love.
Are you ready to start living with love? The power of love is held within each and every one of us at every moment and there to give..and receive.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Tips For Surviving the Holidays
I recently recently received an e-mail from a reader who asked for advice on surviving the holidays without drama when it came to dealing with family members where there is "tension". I think it is important to address this question to empower others who also struggle with the same issues whether it be the holidays or any other family celebration.
Respect and Acceptance: I think it is important to respect and accept the family members for who they are. We cannot pick and choose our aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, in-laws, we can only respect that this is the position in the family that they hold and accept who they are. This doesn't mean; however, that we allow them to treat us with disrespect or allow them to bring up issues of "contention" during family celebrations. Stick to topics that are "safe" and try to steer conversation away from any of the more "heated issues". It is impossible to change a person's behavior; however, by accepting this and the understanding that we cannot change them, but can only control our own behavior, we regain some semblance of integrity to deal with the event.
As far as gift giving, it is important to remember that it is not the gift that counts it is the thought behind it. The economy is tough for all of us and the greatest gift we can give or receive is the gift of "time". So, spend time with your family and enjoy those moments you have together. Remember, none of us has a crystal ball and it is no guarantee we will have the same family members present for the next get-together. A good friend of mine related her daughter's story of a re-gift from her mother-in-law which her daughter had unfortunately played with from the toy box in their home. This was an excellent opportunity for her, as a mother, to reinforce with the daughter that the gift probably held sentimental value which she wanted to pass on to her granddaughter. Apparently, her daughter was worried that her grandparents did not have enough money to live on because of this. Again, this was a great opportunity to point out that the most important gifts we pass between us are the investment of time and love. For those who are unable to show love or spend time with us, we can only hope that we set, by example, the very same in our own hearts. Continue to pass on those invitations to attend band concerts, soccer games and preschool parties. These are the events in life that are "the frosting on the cake", not just at the holidays, but all year long.
Let Go of Anger: Before you enter someone's home let go of any perceived anger. Walk in with an open heart. Carrying resentment takes a lot of time and effort and, in the end, serves no purpose other than to cause undue stress. While we cannot control the words or choices another family member chooses, we can choose our own. I think this is important to remember, particularly when you are at the business end of someone's criticisms and critiques. No one but you has walked in your shoes, it is unfair for another to pass judgement on where life's journey has taken you.
Another good friend of mine related that repeated attempts to involve her husband's parents in activities she was very proud her children had achieved, they had repeatedly chosen not to attend. Instead of taking this personally, I recommended that she share pictures of the events and continue to support her children's success. Remember, we cannot change the behavior of others, we can only have control over our own.
Limit or Eliminate the Alcohol. This is especially true of there are children involved. If there are family members who are unable to control their alcohol intake, then set aside time for visiting family before alcoholic celebrations begin. Above all, make sure to take the car keys from any family member who has had too much to drink as a loss of life is not worth a few too many ounces of alcohol.
Keep Visits Short and Timed: Arriving on a predestined arrival time and departure time will help all parties to know when to expect you and when you will need to depart. The holidays are a busy time and arriving on a timed visit will eliminate any hurt feelings.
The Internet is full of stories and websites with horror stories of family celebrations gone bad. Each and every one of us can probably recall a holiday we would rather just forget. It's important to remember to value the time you spend with family. The holidays, especially Christmas are not about the gifts, it's about remembering to love one another.
Inlaws/Outlaws get an unfair rap most of the time, as most are well-intentioned and good people; however, we must empower ourselves to deal with the few that are not so easy to get along with. For example, a good friend of mine has a mother-in-law who refuses to attend a visit to her daughter-in-law's home without commenting negatively on her ability to raise her children. Steer topics like this away by mentioning something kind about her appearance or ability to raise her own children. If these tips are unsuccessful, tactfully state "I'm sure you have the well-being of the children in mind; however, let's take some time on another occasion to discuss this in more detail." In this way, you defer the conversation which will hopefully never have event to arise again.
I hope this information is helpful for the next upcoming holiday and that it empowers, informs, and educations others who find themselves in situations that are uncomfortable. It is important for each and every one of us to have an opportunity to read and inform ourselves with information that helps us grow as humans on our journey through life.
Respect and Acceptance: I think it is important to respect and accept the family members for who they are. We cannot pick and choose our aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, in-laws, we can only respect that this is the position in the family that they hold and accept who they are. This doesn't mean; however, that we allow them to treat us with disrespect or allow them to bring up issues of "contention" during family celebrations. Stick to topics that are "safe" and try to steer conversation away from any of the more "heated issues". It is impossible to change a person's behavior; however, by accepting this and the understanding that we cannot change them, but can only control our own behavior, we regain some semblance of integrity to deal with the event.
As far as gift giving, it is important to remember that it is not the gift that counts it is the thought behind it. The economy is tough for all of us and the greatest gift we can give or receive is the gift of "time". So, spend time with your family and enjoy those moments you have together. Remember, none of us has a crystal ball and it is no guarantee we will have the same family members present for the next get-together. A good friend of mine related her daughter's story of a re-gift from her mother-in-law which her daughter had unfortunately played with from the toy box in their home. This was an excellent opportunity for her, as a mother, to reinforce with the daughter that the gift probably held sentimental value which she wanted to pass on to her granddaughter. Apparently, her daughter was worried that her grandparents did not have enough money to live on because of this. Again, this was a great opportunity to point out that the most important gifts we pass between us are the investment of time and love. For those who are unable to show love or spend time with us, we can only hope that we set, by example, the very same in our own hearts. Continue to pass on those invitations to attend band concerts, soccer games and preschool parties. These are the events in life that are "the frosting on the cake", not just at the holidays, but all year long.
Let Go of Anger: Before you enter someone's home let go of any perceived anger. Walk in with an open heart. Carrying resentment takes a lot of time and effort and, in the end, serves no purpose other than to cause undue stress. While we cannot control the words or choices another family member chooses, we can choose our own. I think this is important to remember, particularly when you are at the business end of someone's criticisms and critiques. No one but you has walked in your shoes, it is unfair for another to pass judgement on where life's journey has taken you.
Another good friend of mine related that repeated attempts to involve her husband's parents in activities she was very proud her children had achieved, they had repeatedly chosen not to attend. Instead of taking this personally, I recommended that she share pictures of the events and continue to support her children's success. Remember, we cannot change the behavior of others, we can only have control over our own.
Limit or Eliminate the Alcohol. This is especially true of there are children involved. If there are family members who are unable to control their alcohol intake, then set aside time for visiting family before alcoholic celebrations begin. Above all, make sure to take the car keys from any family member who has had too much to drink as a loss of life is not worth a few too many ounces of alcohol.
Keep Visits Short and Timed: Arriving on a predestined arrival time and departure time will help all parties to know when to expect you and when you will need to depart. The holidays are a busy time and arriving on a timed visit will eliminate any hurt feelings.
The Internet is full of stories and websites with horror stories of family celebrations gone bad. Each and every one of us can probably recall a holiday we would rather just forget. It's important to remember to value the time you spend with family. The holidays, especially Christmas are not about the gifts, it's about remembering to love one another.
Inlaws/Outlaws get an unfair rap most of the time, as most are well-intentioned and good people; however, we must empower ourselves to deal with the few that are not so easy to get along with. For example, a good friend of mine has a mother-in-law who refuses to attend a visit to her daughter-in-law's home without commenting negatively on her ability to raise her children. Steer topics like this away by mentioning something kind about her appearance or ability to raise her own children. If these tips are unsuccessful, tactfully state "I'm sure you have the well-being of the children in mind; however, let's take some time on another occasion to discuss this in more detail." In this way, you defer the conversation which will hopefully never have event to arise again.
I hope this information is helpful for the next upcoming holiday and that it empowers, informs, and educations others who find themselves in situations that are uncomfortable. It is important for each and every one of us to have an opportunity to read and inform ourselves with information that helps us grow as humans on our journey through life.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
NEIL YOUNG HARVEST MOON
Harvest Moon - Neil Young
Come a little bit closer, hear what I have to say
Just like children sleeping
We can dream this night away
But now it's getting late
And the moon is rising high
We know where the music's playing
Let's go out and feel the night
Because I'm still in love with you, I wannna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon
And when we were strangers
I watched you from afar
And we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart
But now it's getting late
And the moon is rising high
And I want to celebrate
See the shining in your eyes
Because I'm still in love with you, I wanna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon
This is one of Neil Young's greatest songs...hope you like it as much as I do..it's kind of my Sunday song because it's so peaceful and maybe I find a bit of my heart in there too...check out his newest CD released this year!
Here's to a great start to 2011!
Cheryl
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Reclaim Your Self-Worth: Reclaim Your Self Worth
Reclaim Your Self-Worth: Reclaim Your Self Worth: "Have you ever wondered if you've settled for less in your life...remember a time when you used to dream that something bigger, more grand wa..."
Reclaim Your Self Worth
Have you ever wondered if you've settled for less in your life...remember a time when you used to dream that something bigger, more grand was possible? Not only possible, but you knew for certain it would happen?
Then something happened.....
You had to be practical.
Practical isn't a bad thing..practical is every day life, raising children, holding a job, sometimes practical is grocery shopping, laundry and dishes. Then you ask yourself....are my heart and mind working together? Are the dreams I once had coming alive? Am I just sleepwalking through life?
Some would say...welcome to adulthood. This is what it's like to be a grown-up. It's called work for a reason!
Okay, these are all fine and dandy...very applicable in modern day times and that of our parents. Now, just for a minute (humor me), ask yourself where your passion lies. Somewhere between buying diapers and attending parent teacher conferences we settled for "practical" instead of pursuing our passion.
It's never too late to come alive.
It's never too late to reinvent yourself.
It's never too late to find your passion.
So what's stopping you?
Maybe the better question is where to start? What holds us back from pursuing the real passion in our lives?
Not knowing what will happen if you fail...(yes, this is very true!)
Being afraid to go for what you want (isn't fear a good thing?)
Lack of belief in yourself (time to start believing in you, again)
Fear of being wrong (just reminds us we're alive)
Yes....sometimes even fear of success (what?????...it's true!)
Let's say you know what your dreams are, you just don't know how to go about getting there. You don't know how to make them a reality instead of a fantasy.
I'll share a little secret with you....no one knows how to make their desires real prior to taking the first step. Knowing comes from doing! Paths are made by walking. The first step down a different path...you have to stop caring about NOT knowing! Change your reality. Instead of letting "I don't know" keep you from moving forward...start saying "I will figure it out."
Change is inevitable in our journey through life and change is uncomfortable....the familiar patterns in our lives become practical living and..yes, safe. It's important to value yourself as a person. Value your skills, your passion, your desires. Once you value yourself or learn how to value yourself something unique starts to happen.
You become more engaged in your own life
A more confident "you" starts to emerge.
People sit up and take notice of this new "you".
You become more attractive, vibrant and more importantly, engaged in your own life.
No matter what kind of mud life slings your way, stop being a victim in your own life. The only behavior we can affect or change is our own. Each of us responds to a situation in our own way, and our reaction to the situation defines who we are. Be determined to get up every day and face life. Stop blaming others for your own defeat and make your own opportunities. From a very early age we have all had hopes and dreams for our lives. Give yourself the freedom to remember your dreams and aspirations and start imagining what it is you really want to do.
If you've always dreamed of being a writer, start writing. If you've always dreamed of owning your own catering service, start cooking. If you've always had the ability to make unique crafts, start making them. Technology today provides vast opportunities for marketing your unique skills and passion for life.
It's never too late to take a class, start working on a career change (even in a tough economy), and working toward your passion in life. There is never failure in an attempt to better yourself. The only failure is never trying. Self improvement means something different to each and every one of us. None of us think alike. If you have a goal or a dream, the only way to create it is to take action toward it and not to give up until you attain it ..if that's what you decide to do. If you don't see it as a possibility it will never happen.
Destiny is created by our thoughts and actions...we are free to think and act as we wish at all times. Stop using the excuses of daily life practicalities that have gotten in your own way. You can still raise a family and pursue your own dreams...in fact, they will benefit from watching you, as the parent, for taking charge of your own life and passions which is one of the most important lifeskills our children can learn.
Reclaiming your self-worth and starting to value yourself as a person is the first step to a more confident YOU. Becoming actively engaged in your own life is a challenge especially after years of training to focus on the more practical (yet necessary) daily living responsibilities. It is possible to attain your dreams and passions at any age...start believing in you for a change.
Then something happened.....
You had to be practical.
Practical isn't a bad thing..practical is every day life, raising children, holding a job, sometimes practical is grocery shopping, laundry and dishes. Then you ask yourself....are my heart and mind working together? Are the dreams I once had coming alive? Am I just sleepwalking through life?
Some would say...welcome to adulthood. This is what it's like to be a grown-up. It's called work for a reason!
Okay, these are all fine and dandy...very applicable in modern day times and that of our parents. Now, just for a minute (humor me), ask yourself where your passion lies. Somewhere between buying diapers and attending parent teacher conferences we settled for "practical" instead of pursuing our passion.
It's never too late to come alive.
It's never too late to reinvent yourself.
It's never too late to find your passion.
So what's stopping you?
Maybe the better question is where to start? What holds us back from pursuing the real passion in our lives?
Not knowing what will happen if you fail...(yes, this is very true!)
Being afraid to go for what you want (isn't fear a good thing?)
Lack of belief in yourself (time to start believing in you, again)
Fear of being wrong (just reminds us we're alive)
Yes....sometimes even fear of success (what?????...it's true!)
Let's say you know what your dreams are, you just don't know how to go about getting there. You don't know how to make them a reality instead of a fantasy.
I'll share a little secret with you....no one knows how to make their desires real prior to taking the first step. Knowing comes from doing! Paths are made by walking. The first step down a different path...you have to stop caring about NOT knowing! Change your reality. Instead of letting "I don't know" keep you from moving forward...start saying "I will figure it out."
Change is inevitable in our journey through life and change is uncomfortable....the familiar patterns in our lives become practical living and..yes, safe. It's important to value yourself as a person. Value your skills, your passion, your desires. Once you value yourself or learn how to value yourself something unique starts to happen.
You become more engaged in your own life
A more confident "you" starts to emerge.
People sit up and take notice of this new "you".
You become more attractive, vibrant and more importantly, engaged in your own life.
No matter what kind of mud life slings your way, stop being a victim in your own life. The only behavior we can affect or change is our own. Each of us responds to a situation in our own way, and our reaction to the situation defines who we are. Be determined to get up every day and face life. Stop blaming others for your own defeat and make your own opportunities. From a very early age we have all had hopes and dreams for our lives. Give yourself the freedom to remember your dreams and aspirations and start imagining what it is you really want to do.
If you've always dreamed of being a writer, start writing. If you've always dreamed of owning your own catering service, start cooking. If you've always had the ability to make unique crafts, start making them. Technology today provides vast opportunities for marketing your unique skills and passion for life.
It's never too late to take a class, start working on a career change (even in a tough economy), and working toward your passion in life. There is never failure in an attempt to better yourself. The only failure is never trying. Self improvement means something different to each and every one of us. None of us think alike. If you have a goal or a dream, the only way to create it is to take action toward it and not to give up until you attain it ..if that's what you decide to do. If you don't see it as a possibility it will never happen.
Destiny is created by our thoughts and actions...we are free to think and act as we wish at all times. Stop using the excuses of daily life practicalities that have gotten in your own way. You can still raise a family and pursue your own dreams...in fact, they will benefit from watching you, as the parent, for taking charge of your own life and passions which is one of the most important lifeskills our children can learn.
Reclaiming your self-worth and starting to value yourself as a person is the first step to a more confident YOU. Becoming actively engaged in your own life is a challenge especially after years of training to focus on the more practical (yet necessary) daily living responsibilities. It is possible to attain your dreams and passions at any age...start believing in you for a change.
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